Saturday, 31 October 2009

Happy Friday!!

Okay so it's actually late on Saturday now but I wrote most of this yesterday and ran out of time to complete and publish!!


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Yes, it's the end of the week already - what the hell happened to the rest of it?!

I'm feeling increasingly panicked by the fact that crimbo is not that far off and I'm ridiculously underprepared!!

But that is nothing new I guess, it's not coincidental that one of my favourite sites is lastminute.com!!

Anyway, believe it or not I haven't actually forgotten that this is meant to be a diet and fitness blog and I apologise for the lack of updating so here we go

where did I leave off?

ahh yes:

Friday 23rd Oct

Not a great start to the day, weighed in at 148.8lbs, up from the previous week - boo!

I had a half day (flexi, thank goodness, I'm so low on hols at the mo!) and went with my Mums (i.e. mine and Joe's) for a 'Spa Pampering Day' that I'd purchased for them for Mother's day months ago.

To say I was underwhelmed by the 'Spa' in question would be the understatement of the century.

For a start it's situated inside a Holiday Inn, hmm, alarm bells?

I haven't been to many Spas before, in fact I've only been to 2. The first was the luxurious and magnificent Sanctuary in Covent Garden which I went to only as I could get a corporate discount through my previous employer - still a bloody expensive place though!

The Sanctuary is amazing, it's very large, like walking into the garden of Eden (minus the apple trees and fig-leaf clad Adam - more's the pity!). It's a women-only place too so you could just lounge about in, well, nothing, but the usual attire consists of swim suit and lush bath robe (provided).

The treatments are great too but also pricey. However it's a great place to chill as they have bar and bench/loungers everywhere, as many women's magazines as you could ever read (usually my idea of hell but at a place like that you tend to leave your brain in your locker and switch off into 'I'm a fairy princess in wonderland' mode).

Last year I was taken as a treat to a place called the SenSpa which is in Brockenhurst (New Forest region) - a place I'd love to live if I ever contemplate leaving my beloved City (and lottery-win dependent too... it's rather pricey there!).

SenSpa is a luxury spa too, with a Thai restaurant on the premises and plenty of steam rooms, saunas, pools etc to keep you occupied - WELL worth the journey!

So when we turn up to this pokey little area squished into a corner of the hotel, with a teeny pool - of only one depth and not a lot else.

There were seats outside, but they were separate from the 'Spa' (or actually really a 'Health Club' as we discovered), as was the bar that was in the hotel lobby, so we'd have to walk through the hotel in our robes... not something that appealed to any of us!

We were also horrified to hear that the jacuzzi was out of action but we resolved that we'd make the most of it as we'd heard rumour of a sauna and steam room

So Joe's Mum went to have her treatment, my mum and Joe's mum's friend went to use the pool and I let rip in the weights area... looking on with concern while a PT there was getting a lady to do an odd forward lunge where she sort of bent over at the same time moving the one dumbbell she was holding forwards past her front foot... it didn't look very comfortable and I could see it was putting strain on her back!

I did my upper body routine with free weights (see side bar and yes, I'm still doing that routine, I haven't had time to change it yet... good job I enjoy it!!).

Then it was time for my treatment.

Unlike the Sanctuary, or SenSpa... where they have a myriad of hallways containing doors to candle-lit treatment rooms which you are led to... very boudoir/brothel like(!), this place had just the one room...

...but it was nice and with a proper treatment chair, and here's where it starts getting better... the lady/girl (she was sooo young) giving me my treatment was lovely and really passionate about her work - which she was good at!

We had a good old chin-wag and I found out that she'd worked at much more prestigious and up-market establishments, but is really happy at the Health Club there as it's just her on her own so it's kind of like her own little practice.

I asked her about the people that use the facilities and she said that their ages ranged from 40 - 100!! She said how much she loves the surprise she gets when she reads their birth year on the treatment forms - how old?!!

I thought she was just being sweet but then later when I was in the Jacuzzi (which they got working - hurrah!) I saw this older fella (not sure how old, I'm rubbish at guessing ages but he was definitely post-retirement!) come along who had the most amazing legs! they were tanned and the definition of his quadriceps would put many a younger man to shame!

Then another two lady pensioners came along and they looked fab in their swimming costumes! So impressed as earlier I'd been carrying out my weight routine in front of the mirror and caught sight of an enormous older woman in a small costume whose legs looked like they were entirely comprised of cottage cheese - a lot of cottage cheese... it was an amazing sight!

Anyway, the other people at the health only sought to reinforce my belief that keeping active keeps you younger for longer :-)

So anyway... after we'd all been pampered by the lovely treatment lady we went back to Joe's Mum's place and shared a nice bottle of prosecco and then went off for an early dinner at a Bangladeshi restaurant which is very close to where they live, and the train station.

We were the first there! It was about 6pm mind. This meant that we were served super fast and the food was delicious, lots of vegetables and healthy choices... and, best still, the healthy choices were highlighted in red. Can you believe that? They'd even included a note at the top of the menu to inform you of this and the fact that those dishes were made with lower fat sauces. I was so impressed, not only by how tasty the food was but also that they had that facility - almost a guilt free curry?!

Actually, Joe's Mum had the best option... I can't remember what it was called, a chicken sizzlak or something like that, but basically it was huge chunks of chicken breast served with equally huge chunks of red pepper and onion - served sizzling on a hot plate... very healthy!

After that my Mum and I got the train back together... it wasn't the most pleasant of journeys but I'm not going to go into that on here (especially now I know I have a malevolent reader (or readers)), but she's coming round on Sunday hopefully for lunch so that should be nice - hopefully!

I then went to join some friends at a house party in North London. It was full of fast runners and medical professionals (my friend whose flat it is is an exceptionally fast runner and also a nurse) I felt very unworthy!

Great night though (from what I can remember!), I quaffed a significant amount of red wine and prattled on and on about Maximuscle products (mainly Viper, for the endurance athletes) to all who would/were unfortunate enough to listen! :-D

Saturday 24th Oct

Ewww, I felt rather rotten and that's putting it mildly! Just look at this loaf of bread I put on when I woke up - what's happened to it? It's a Frankenloaf! Obviously my breadmaking abilities were just as wonky as I felt... and I know that I use a breadmaker but I bake a lot of loaves and they've never looked like this before!!

Still managed to resist the bacon and egg sandwich and had a very tasty yoghurt and fruit protein pancake instead - helped perk me up a little!

We were going to see Franz Ferdinand at the Brixton Academy which I'd been looking forward to - but not at how late they came on!!

Usually when you go to a gig at Brixton they have a warm-up act from about 7pm and then the main act comes on at 9(ish) and you get to go home reasonably early (how old do I sound?!). I think because it was a weekend that they have a later licence so there were a few acts before FF - who weren't scheduled to come on til 23:20!! Obviously they were later than that, I was so pooped and my cranberry juice (pint of) was doing nothing to keep me feeling perkier.

Here's the usual obligatory gratuitous mugshot of Joe and I - what you can't see is my bright yellow foam earplugs... NOT a symptom of getting old I hasten to add... just a result of the tinnitus brought on by being too much of a gig-pig. I don't want the ringing in my ears to get any worse, it's highly annoying as it is - it's fine during the day but we live on such a quiet peaceful road all I hear is the ringing (and the bloody foxes!).

I'm hoping it's curable as it only came about when I got ill a few months ago (I swear it was piggy flu) so it might be a tube blockage (ooer)... trying to rectify this with GP-prescribed steroid nasal spray which I've resolved NEVER to use at work again after sounding like a coke-head in the loos when I last used it!!!

oh and as you *can* see, I'm used to my usual pale self! Somewhat different to how I looked the night of the photoshoot!.

I must say though, I like having a *bit* of colour, if only because I look less rubbish without makeup as I hardly ever wear it and I do pity my colleagues having to see my washed-up pale boatrace every day!!

Honestly, my morning routine is get up/shower/wash hair/comb with fingers/slap Boots No.7 cream on face/leave!

Oh yeah, I do get dressed first though!!

I wish I could be more girlie but I can't be arsed usually and I guess it does make it that much more exciting when I *do* put makeup/jewellery/heels/dresses etc on!


Sunday 25th Oct

I didn't feel like my usual sweet protein pancake so instead I thought I'd play around a bit and use Promax Natural with my Two Chicks free range liquid egg whites and 25g mature cheddar... have the heat on low and make an omelette instead - it was actually rather nice!

So on Sunday I had the unenviable task of helping my child tidy his room. We had been asking him to do it for weeks and he had given it a couple of half-assed attempts (i.e. pick stuff off floor and shove into miscellaneous drawers/wardrobes/down side of bed/behind books on shelf) but it was getting beyond a joke.

I filled a whole recycling bag full of paper and an archive box with his old school books that he had littered round his bedroom.

It took a whole afternoon, seriously... it took hours! The net result was a lovely sparkling tidy room with a clear computer desk that he can use his laptop on without distraction.

Also got rid of some clothes, wish the boy would stop growing *quite* so fast, he's gonna be as tall as me soon!

Sunday night - was too lazy knackered to cook so we had yummy oriental food from our local lovely Japanese noodle bar... Joe and I had Bento Boxes (I had yakitori chicken in mine, very tasty and low fat - perfect!), the boy nicked my (and Joe’s!) miso soup in addition to his own seafood noodle dish. We also shared some edamame (yummy and a great source of protein!) and tori gyoza (steamed little rice and chicken parcels) and some eel sashimi - lush!!

It’s so nice when you have takeout that *doesn’t* make you feel guilty simply because it contains such lovely, fresh and healthy ingredients!


Monday 26th Oct

A pretty normal day at work, nothing too exciting happened there but dinner was delicious and nutritious :-)

Joe was off work as he was most of this week because of some horrid coldy flu-type thing, poor love, so I cooked grilled teriyaki salmon with cous cous and I made a delicious salad with Hass avocado, black olives, feta, baby plum tomatoes, cucumber, mixed leaves, golden linseeds and my special secret recipe dressing ;-)


Tuesday 27th Oct

As you know... Tuesday I got my new toy. I am still AS in love, if not more, with it as I was then - just not as enamoured with the poor battery life!

I took my first pics with it on Tuesday over dinner with a very good friend of mine who I met through our running club quite a few years ago. It's funny as, although not new to running, she was certainly new to triathlon - as was I - and since then has competed in several triathlons culminating in an almighty Ironman Triathlon which she raced with her new husband!

She's a fantastic athlete and, when I met up with her she was still feeling 'a little tired' from her latest marathon which she completed in a jaw-dropping time of 03:09!!

I'm super impressed, and by the fact that her and her hubby then went out to dinner to celebrate as it was their wedding anniversary!

Anyway, I'd booked us a table at JB's Restaurant which is situated inside the Victoria Park Plaza hotel. I didn't even know it existed before I found it on Toptable.com. They had a great deal on... 2 courses and half a bottle of wine for £15! (and the half bottles were actually literally small sized bottles - so cute!)

I had a salad to start followed by grilled chicken breast on a polenta base - decent sized portions and very nice too. I was relieved by how little choice was on the menu actually as I'm rubbish at making any sort of quick decision when faced with multiple options!!

However, as adequate as the portion sizes were, it didn't stop us taking a sneaky peek at the menu which yielded forth some fantastic mouth-watering dish options... which we obviously *had* to try!

Just look at this, can you say, hand on your heart, that you'd have been able to resist this?

My friend couldn't... she had her dessert and then ordered the same one I'd had! (She's allowed to mind, with the amount of mileage she racks up on a weekly basis!)

It was lovely though, the ice-cream ball on the left was intensely gingery and the one on the right had some sort of crackly stuff in it (can you tell I'm not a restaurant critic!!), it was all super tasty :-)


Wednesday 28th Oct

Wednesday I cycled my poor old mountain bike home. It's been parked in our work carpark since I brought Henry home a month ago!

The poor thing's back tyre was quite soft, though not enough to warrant hunting around for a pump, it's not exactly a long journey home!

I really have to psych myself up to ride in London, it's pretty scary and I *know* the benefits to your health far outweigh the risks associated with road cycling.... still doesn't stop me being shit scared of all the lunatic drivers who hurtle past me... seemingly with the sole intention of driving me off the road/clipping me with their wing mirror!

Joe was still feeling unwell on Wednesday so we didn't go to Alpha and I instead cooked a big healthy meal - chicken breast pieces in a nice rich tomato, garlic and chilli sauce with loads of fresh veg thrown in - sugar snap peas, mixed peppers, mushrooms, fine green beans and aubergine. The boys had pasta with it and I had mashed sweet potato and we all had a big bowl of salad too for good measure :-)

I took the leftovers with me to work for lunch the next day, which leads me onto:


Thursday 29th Oct

Thursday was rather fab. I'd been given 4 passes to see Live at the Apollo being filmed!

I'm such a comedy fiend, can't get enough of it and was really looking forward to this, not least because it was free!

I met up with my friends, collected our tickets and then went for a bite to eat at the Distiller's Pub.

The food was delicious! One friend had fish and chips, another had tuna steak (perfectly cooked) on a nicoise salad base and I had the 8oz rib eye steak. I asked for it rare, knowing full well it wouldn't be, but was pleased at how tasty it was, really succulent and flavoursome... a bit fatty but then it's a fatty cut, it's probably the fat that gives it the flavour - and the chargrilling of course ;-)

We got back to the Apollo, grabbed a drink and went to our seats.

We didn't have a bad view - my only complaint about the seat - other than the giant sitting in front of me (but I'm used to being *that* unlucky and I just looked 'around' him lol!) was the spotlight shining on us that was blinding (and not in a good way!),

The dude in the row in front of us constructed this makeshift turban eye-shield out of his scarf!

that really made me smile, together with discovering that Andy from Little Britain was sat next to my friends :-D

Yes I'm that evil ;-)

Our compère for the first show (yes, we got to see *two* shows recorded - happy days!) was Al "The Pub Landlord" Murray. He's not everyone's cup of tea but I really love him... he's a smart but very accessible comic and a fantastic storyteller to boot! :-)

Next was a guy I'd not heard of before (shock horror!) despite him being around for a while now, it was Chris Addison and he was brilliant!

Although saying that, I don't really remember many of his jokes, aside from the spring-loaded coffin gag and that was because it was his closing line, and he fluffed his exit and had to re-do it. Well, not 'fluffed' exactly, it was really funny but he should have just bowed, shook Al Murray's hand and then walked out, instead of crouching underneath the 'Live at the Apollo' sign and attempting to lift and go underneath it!!! :-D

Next on was Tim Vine whose style and delivery is a little akin to Jimmy Carr's brand of quickfire one-liners (although I'm sure he's been doing it longer!).

Not my favourite style of comedy I must admit. I prefer storytellers, I like a comedian to reel me in then deliver the punchline... and perhaps even revisit it later... not constantly fire them at me, one after the other in quick breathtaking succession - it's exhausting for me!

It was telling that a *lot* of the audience left to get drinks/visit the loos during his performance.

So then it was the interval between shows and I overheard that Jason Manford and Michael McIntyre would be on next!!

VERY mixed emotions here... you see I'm going to see Michael McIntyre do his *own* gig at The O2 next week!! I bought the tickets back in February and I've been looking forward to seeing him all year!

I figured that like the other two acts he'd only be doing a short stint, and curiosity took the better of me so I decided to hang about.

First up was Jason Manford, which was quite surprising as I figured that Al Murray would do his compère stint again.

Now, I really like Jason Manford, he's a lovely really personable fellow. However, I have seen a lot of his act during the various shows he's on like 8 out of 10 Cats (he's a team captain) and other interviews and stand up performances I've seen on TV.

He is great though, a real gent, lovely fella :-)

After Jason this little round ball of energy... also known as Michael McIntyre sprung out onto the stage!

It was a fantastic performance, the atmosphere generated by the crowds' adoration of him was almost electric! I didn't see *anyone* get up from their seat the entire time he was on!

Michael McIntyre is a master of observational humour. There's nothing nasty, mean, sexist, xenophobic or otherwise in his material or countenance... he's a genuinely lovely lovely guy but bloody hilarious too!

Although I know that Thursday was probably a 'road-test' of his new material in preparation of next week's big performances but I don't care because

a) it was sooo funny I can't wait to see it again and
b) he was only on for about half an hour, next week's show will be a lot longer so have more of the good stuff to look forward to!!

Went home with a happy smiley buzz and hurty cheeks from all the grinning :-D


Friday 30th Oct

Well, a good start to the day. I lost a pound so back down to 147.8lbs... just got to work on shifting it further down the scales :-) Very pleased actually as my ankle's been too sore to take any impact work so my cardio has been all but zero, it's a good job I've got a tighter rein on my food and alcohol intake :-)

Haven't received my pictures from the Maximuscle photoshoot yet, boo :-( hopefully they'll be waiting for me at work on Monday, something to look forward to.

Really looking forward to seeing them though and have had a request for info about the food and exercise I do for an article on the website - woot!

This is fab as it's something I've been meaning to do for ages - document 'me' over a normal week. It's a good job I keep a food and exercise diary and photograph everything, ha!

Oh and I need to complete my Q and A for the lovely JAG (I haven't forgotten, sorry I'm just a bit rubbish, look how long it's taken me to post this!!)

Another great idea but I'm worried I'll just sound like everyone else - still... good we're on the same healthy wavelength eh? :-)

Anyway, I'm not going to tell you anything more about Friday now as I returned home to a rather special surprise from Joe - something he'd been planning for months!!

So that will need a very special post all of its very own to do it justice... watch this space!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

TJx

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Comment moderation and mid-afternoon musings


Firstly an apology... yes, I had to enable comment moderation :-(  I didn't want to but when you're getting harrassment like this, it becomes kind of unavoidable

I've been really hoping this would all just blow over, it's all got a bit playground now and the thing that narks me most of all is that if there truly is some malicious malevolent third party who wrote the initial comment (i.e. not Vikki), then they must be rubbing their hands together in glee at all these acrimonious interactions, they must be loving all the mischief they've caused by their underhanded and cowardly actions.

I actually feel quite sorry for them in a way because anyone who gains pleasure from another's upset can't be a very whole or happy person... like that verse in an old Nelly Furtado song.

And I'm sorry that I made myself feel better
By making you feel never good enough
I know you'll shine much brighter than I ever could
Maybe that is why I was
But you will encounter people like that wherever you go, be it colleagues, bosses, friends, peers... there are always those who try to make up for their own shortcomings and feelings of inadequacy by trying to project them onto you. If you're not strong enough to recognise a) your own self worth and b) that they're doing this because they feel of themselves all that they say of you, then this can have a hugely detrimental effect on your self esteem!

A friend of mine that I used to work with years ago went from job to job, being treated poorly by her immediate bosses (she was as unlucky as you can get), it played havoc with her already pretty low self-esteem and she ended up having a breakdown. I wonder what her old bosses would think if they knew now, would they feel anything?

I doubt it though :-( people like that don't tend to posses compassion and remorse, it's possible that they weren't even aware that they were acting in such an awful manner, so wrapped up in their warped self-indulgent existence, and worried that if they pay attention to the world that clearly only revolves around them, it might fall off its axis!

On the other hand, they might feel good about it, there are those who take the greatest pleasure from other people's misery and the evidence of such serves to make their own miserable existence a little bit more bearable.

...for a time, and then they must move on and reinforce this behaviour before all the temporary joy-from-misery levels have been depleted and their left to wallow in their own self-pity again.

It's a pity they don't consider a change of tack... incongruous as it may seem to them, the complete opposite of what their usual behaviour dictates would actually provide them with a more sustainable sense of well-being. 

Just being nice, kind and gentler to people, looking out for others and making them feel valued has enormous benefits.

If you set out to be a good person and continually succeed, it's the best feeling in the world.  It's so rewarding to achieve that sort of objective - like seeking to improve the lives of others, on a large or even small scale.  Or like being there for your friends and family when they need you, and even when they don't.  Or being as good an employee/student/boss as you can.  Or perhaps just not reacting if someone stands on your toe on the tube/bus/train/escalator, or whacks you accidentally with their bag, or barges into you without thinking - 99% of the time they don't mean to and feel awful about it, and if instead of reacting angrily, you smile and say that it's okay you make a hell of a difference - both to yourself and that person... try it sometime, it's true!

But if you set out to make other people's lives miserable, and succeed, what do you have left?  Okay you achieved your objective but at what cost to you as a person, what's left of you after you've done it?  Can you really feel happy with the person who stares back at you in the mirror knowing that you've made another person or other people feel unhappy?  If the answer is "yes" and it makes you feel better about yourself, then you really have to ask yourself what kind of person you are, and if indeed you even like that person.

It's not something I'd feel happy or comfortable knowing, I know that for a fact

Blimey, this has turned into a mammoth post, I didn't want to ramble on quite so much but I guess subjects like 'being a good person' and 'being kind to others' are those that I think of often... probably partially helped by my doing the Alpha course again.

You see you can convince everyone that you're someone or something you're not.  You can even convince yourself if you reinforce the programming often enough.  But there's one who you can never fool, one who knows every single last uncomfortable squirmy painful fact and truth, and that's God.

Anyway, I'm going to get on now and actually start a post about what I've been up to this last nearly week now!  I just wanted to let you all know what was going on in case you're wondering why the comment police are in operation!!

TJx

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

New Palm in my palm...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Recent bollocks~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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see that? ^^^^^^

That's me drawing a line under the events of the last couple of days. It's all a bit bemusing really and I don't have time to let it drag me down, got too much on!

Besides... I'm in love


Big time

With my new phone

*swoooon*

Okay so its battery has the lifespan of a donut in my office, but it's lurrrrvly

Yes, I am quite besotted. Clearly. But look at it, it's beautiful!
 
Obviously this isn't my actual phone which is rather more smudged from my eager paws being all over it! :-D
 
So, I have in my grubby palms, a Palm Pre and I am super impressed already. You should have seen me in the O2 store, I was like a kid with a new toy, I literally clapped my hands with glee when the transaction was complete and I was free to take my new baby home.


Sad eh? But you see I have had my BlackBerry for about 20 months! That's a hell of a long time for me to go without changing phones, I'm such a super phone geek, always have been.

I got my first phone in 1996. The mother and baby hostel I stayed in only had a payphone on the wall, and that was downstairs near the front door - several flights of stairs down from me! When you're a new mother looking after a teeny tiny baby, the last thing you want to do is drag him down the stairs and balance him in one arm whilst trying to cradle a phone and feed it money with the other!!

So I bought a Nokia 1210, ahh, my first phone. It was the size of a brick and weighed as much too. I couldn't hold it to my ear to make calls for any length of time as I didn't have the strength in my arms! I'd have to balance it against my shoulder and ear or rest my head back on a chair - ridiculous!

From that moment on I was hooked on mobile phones and went through quite a few including the earlier incarnations of Sony and Ericsson, when they were two companies. I think the Ericssons were the first flip phones, with the stubby aerial - so sweet! My first Sony phone was years ahead of its time... it had a jog-dial on the side so you could scroll through the menus, very impressive!

I had a few Nokias (and obviously one popped my mobile phone cherry!) but I've never really got on with them. I didn't find they had as intuitive a feel as the SonyEricssons, and when SE brought out their colour phones I was in my element! I can't remember the first colour one I got, it was either the T68i or the T610 (I actually still have both phones!), but when they brought out the K range with the awesome cameras with digital flash I thought I'd be loyal for life!

Then my boyfriend bought a BlackBerry.

The phone he got came with a pink fascia. As comfortable as he is with his own sexuality he decided that he really couldn't go around permanently with a pink phone, clients and colleagues just wouldn't take him seriously!

So he persuaded me to abandon my super duper Sony Ericsson with amazing camera for a BlackBerry with a pathetic 2 megapixel rubbish camera, but came with a dark blue fascia... hmm

It took me a little while to get to grips with the qwerty keypad but it wasn't that long before I was totally hooked. Our BlackBerrys are pretty much identical except that mine has Wi-Fi, his GPS - (not quite sure why they couldn't put both in the same model!), the nifty rollerball and the fact that you get visible feedback from the arrow 'mouse' pointer on the screen really made it for me.

However, the browser is naff, really really naff!

a few of the BlackBerry Pearl 8120's good points:

* LED flashing when new notification arrives
* BB messenger (rocks and rolls but then that's not much use if none of your friends own one!)
* instant mail notification
* memo pad - I write *everything* from my strength workouts to my shopping/packing list!
* Wi-Fi very handy if you're in another country and don't (for some bizarre reason) want to fork out for mega roaming data fees!
* can receive calendar invites from Microsoft Outlook/Lotus Notes/Google mail etc
* quite dinky, can fit in my front jeans pocket (and don't forget girls' jeans have shallower pockets than their male-specific counterpart!)
* can have multiple applications running at once
* can get a few nice apps like TwitterBerry and Flickr uploader
* compatible with google manager, e.g. calendar, mail, google maps (v handy if your sense of direction is as appalling as mine!!)

errm that'll do for now, there are plenty others but can't think of any right now

a few of the BlackBerry Pearl 8120's bad points:

* rubbish browser (says it supports JavaScript but can't view the Twitter homepage!)
* magnetised semi-solid case wipes any paper train ticket (and gym card!!) that comes into contact with it!
* no touch screen
* screen size rather small
* HTML email messages look rather shoddy
* using apps like Facebook for BlackBerry draaaaaaaaains the battery life!
* camera is rubbish, flash is too bright for nearby objects and not bright enough for further away ones, plus it's only a 2 megapixel camera - why can't smart phones install better cameras?!!!!!!
* can't ever discretely take sneaky surreptitious pictures of interesting sights... and people (a la GymBunnyHoney stylie) as the camera makes a 'cloookkffff' sound when you take one - and yes, even on the silentist of silent modes!!

okay I'm really slating the poor BB and to be honest I really loved it despite its failings, it served me well for almost 2 years!

But I'm quite happy to banish it to the back of some drawer now as the Palm Pre does poop on it from a rather great height!

I'm not going to bore you with all the specs, check it out here if you want more info and to look at more pretty pictures ;-)

But, in brief (as brief as it's possible to be, and we all know that's not a lot!), here are:

a few of the Palm Pre's good points (that I've noticed so far):

* the touch screen is great, you can do the squeezy pinch, flick etc to move, throw away, zoom in/out etc and of course, if you tilt the screen it adjusts accordingly ;-)
* the browser is fab, I really like it
* although only a few apps out at the moment (including necessary ones - like Twitter!), I imagine it'll only be a matter of time before this increases significantly
* you can have multiple apps open at once (unlike the iPhone!)
* physical keypad - yes it's teeny and you have to type using the corners of your thumbnails but that's how I type on my BB so I'm quite happy with that... I like having feedback when I press a key and not having to type on the actual screen - now the whole thing is a viewing window... definitely prefer having the keypad separate!
* when I plugged it into my PC and selected 'media syc', iTunes automatically opened up and recognised the device! It treats it like an iPod - woo hoo!
* GPS (woo hoo, no more getting lost for me!)
* Wi-Fi
* the camera is pretty good! Not amazing, but better than the BB's.
* it's perty
* there's a mirror on the back - I thought they were just being thoughtful but Joe tells me it's to enhance the flash, d'uh!
* you get informed immediately if you have any email, you don't have to 'login to the app' like with an iPhone - very handy if you've got BlackBerry withdrawal and you're used to your message retrieval being instant!

there are other things that are pretty small but I like... like the trash can symbol in the bottom of the screen that you can use when reading mails... deleting anything with a BB required too many clicks for my liking!

ooh and there's a 'back' feature, but it's not on the screen or the keypad... it's underneath the screen and you just swipe your finger, it's very cool. I've not yet worked out how to use all the 'gestures' yet, need to play around a bit more ;-)

so, onto the negatives... here are a few of the Palm Pre's less than positive points (that I've noticed so far):

* no predictive text (from what I can see... okay I know it's *full* qwerty but I'm lazy!)
* teeny (albeit raised and easy to use) keys
* can't seem to select images on web pages, i.e. 'right-click + save image' function
* don't like the charger adapter! BB uses a mini-usb, which you can find anywhere, no idea what this connector is! You can get a 'touch stone' which looks rather tasty but I think it's a tad on the pricey side and having just shelled out for this bad boy I'm not likely to be able to afford any gimmicky charging units anytime soon!
* poor battery life (if you're an app fiend or just like playing with your new toy - a lot!!)
* sharp edges(!)
* no external storage supported, only onboard... no idea how long the 8GBs will last

I have only had this phone 24 hours so am yet to discover more of its fab (and not-so-fab) attributes, no doubt I'll be whinging/enthusing about it in days/weeks/months to come ;-)

have to get off now and resist playing with my Pre some more... have very complicated scary functions to write 8-O

will be back soon with a round-up of the last few day's events but just had to share my new love interest with you :-D

Hope you're all well and thanks again for the support these last few days, means a lot :-)

TJx

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Pond Scum

You know my problem? I'm too trusting! I take people on face value and it has been my undoing on quite a few occasions

The latest has highlighted this failing, big time!

You see, when you receive your first ever horrible and 'anonymous' comment, followed coincidentally by an email from someone you suspect might have a part in it, selling you a whole sob story about how she and her boyfriend split up months ago, that she had to take out an injunction after he tried to take his own life and that there's no way it could have been her to wrote that... and asking you to remove something as innocuous as a first initial - I bought it! I really did. What a sucker eh?

I did what she requested because I thought she was genuinely upset and I hate the thought of anyone feeling that way. The emails I got back after were pretty crappy, in one she said that I'd 'created the situation in which I was abused'. Hmm, obviously I was asking for it! The email chain ended with her getting aggressive and telling me to leave her alone, despite it being her who contacted me in the first place.

She then wrote a load of lies about me on her blog, actually naming me despite my removing her first initial in good faith.

What she wrote was laughable and I'm not going to address all the points like I did with the last comment and the long emails she's sent me as a) I don't have time and b) I really should have taken the advice of my boyfriend when he said just to ignore the initial comment as these things just escalate don't they, especially when you're dealing with people who are not entirely stable. About 99% of the contents of that post amounts to pure fiction, and with that in mind I can safely say I will never believe another word Vikki ever writes. I'm not going to buy into her sob story, I don't care for how well she plays the victim. I'm not part of the little fantasy world she has created for herself... the fact that she said she says she has no interest in my life yet checks this blog every single hour (yes, I know about that).

I also received out of the blue an email from her now ex saying that he'd 'heard through the grapevine' that a) I was emailing her and asking to meet up again and try and forge a relationship (because I obviously have such a dearth of friends I need someone like that in my life?!) and b) that there was 'a link' to a page in which I'm slagging him and her off. I wasn't 'slagging anyone off', I was telling my story. It's my story to tell and nobody can tell me otherwise, not least a girl who invents lies about me and has the audacity to question my reticence to the thought of my son having contact the violent, abusive, alcoholic, convicted gay-bashing criminal who fathered him nearly 14 years ago. I'm a responsible, loving and caring parent, get over it.

This has been a learning experience for me. You see this blog means a lot to me, I started it to document my progress in the Maximuscle Body of 2009 competition but through it I have 'met' some amazing people who possess an extraordinary amount of strength - not to mention writing ability!!

So when I received such a horrible comment the other day it shook me to the bone. I felt like my blog had been desecrated, stupid huh?

But thanks to the hugely supportive comments I received, including the really spot-on analysis from Losing Waist and the 'telling off' I received from Joe earlier (heh, he had such a point, I wish I wasn't so reactive and cared so much about what insignificant people thought) I know that no matter what people post, it doesn't matter!

It's true, to all the 'haters' out there, YOU DON'T MATTER! You are not bringing to, or taking away, anything from my life, you're like pond scum... just hanging around, trying to suffocate everything beneath, but ultimately really fucking easy to scrape away.

TJx

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Cowardly detritus

'detritus' is defined as being: "the remains of something that has been destroyed or broken up"

Yesterday some detritus from my past resurfaced, having actively sought out my blog (ingeniously actually, through my Flickr account photos and google search words) and left an anonymous comment on the post where I gave a very honest and frank account of my journey so far. It wasn't an easy thing to write and brought back many painful memories, but I'm very glad I did it and I'm not ashamed of anything I did when I was at my lowest and I'm very proud of how far I've come since.

Now, there are only 2 people who I believe could have written it, my ex-boyfriend (who I refer to as R), or his on-off girlfriend, as I don't know which one has written this, it might be both for all I know, but I do respect the privacy of others so I'm not going to 'out' either in case it's one and not the other. Unlikely, but possible.

I know this because there's nobody else that I know who would write anything so spiteful or hateful. I don't make enemies, I'm just not that type of person. Also, this girl spent a year spying on me through facebook having added me as a friend under a false name, and one of the things this person wrote is so untrue that it can't have come from anybody who actually 'knows' me.

I am not going to allow myself to be intimidated by someone who expends so much energy tracking me down just to make erroneous statements intended to hurt and scare. I never give into bullies, especially those who don't even have the balls to include their name.

So, here is the verbatim of what the 'anonymous' person wrote:

oooh the popcorn story is new - and the at risk register? As I recall it R left you.

Didn't you try to sue P for half the house HE bought and paid the mortgage too? didnt he win?

The Bulimia is all brand new as well.

Blogs are not as anonymous as one thinks. You really shouldn't LIE on them

Enjoy the sympathies of strangers Tara, and the pity of everyone else.


As the pair of them will now no doubt be regularly reading this blog from this point forward, because they clearly take such an active interest in my life, I thought I'd take the time to comment on what they wrote.

oooh the popcorn story is new - and the at risk register? As I recall it R left you.
I'm not sure what point was being made with the first 2 comments but in relation to the 3rd, R and I split up on a regular basis, when we began dating we used to split up and get back together every couple of weeks ago. Who did the final 'finishing' is entirely irrelevant, what matters is that I wouldn't take him back, I was ready to move on and begin a new life which didn't involve being in a destructive and abusive relationship.

Didn't you try to sue P for half the house HE bought and paid the mortgage too? didnt he win?
This is the comment which convinced me that whoever wrote this doesn't actually 'know' me or they'd know that I signed the house over to P of my own free will. I've been to court for two separate events, once was when a friend's father attacked me as a child and the other other was when R was trying to gain access to my son. The case was thrown out when he didn't bother to turn up.

I don't think it's possible to 'sue for half a house', I actually had a fully legal right to 50% as we co-owned the house together, both our names were on the deed and if I'd wanted to lay claim to this he would have been obligated to sell the house and split any profits resulting from this. There would have been no case for litigation.

As it was, I wouldn't have felt right doing that. So his solicitors arranged and sent the paperwork which I signed and, in doing so gave up my legal right to half of the property and transferred all ownership and liability over to him.

The Bulimia is all brand new as well.
I'm not sure either about the point being made here but 'the Bulimia' isn't 'new' at all, it's been around a very long time. R and his Mum actually 'caught' me one of first time I did it... we were staying up in Stoke on Trent where she lived and we'd had a big cooked breakfast. I was seriously trying to lose the baby weight and felt so disgusted at myself for eating so much unhealthy food that I went into the toilet to try and bring it back up.

The toilet was on the ground floor and when I came out R asked me if I'd been sick... I wasn't as 'efficient' as I got to be in later years so had probably made a hell of a lot of obvious noise. I denied it of course, felt very ashamed of myself.

Blogs are not as anonymous as one thinks. You really shouldn't LIE on them
Blogs are not anonymous at all! Everyone can read this if they want, it's on the www, that's the nature of blogging - you should know that yourself surely?

This is my online diary, it's a record of my life and progress working towards various goals. Of course there are things I don't post that may be too personal/boring to read or just relating to somebody else's life - but it's entirely public and I'm fully aware of that and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I wouldn't blog if it did.

I didn't tell any of my friends or family about it in the past because of the competition I was entering, which nobody aside from my boyfriend knew about, I didn't think anyone else would 'get it' (my sporty friends are into running, cycling, climbing etc, not bodybuilding) and I didn't know how well I'd do.

But now that the competition is over I have begun to tell people, and if anyone googles "Maximuscle Body of 2009", mine is one of the first pages that comes up. Anyone can find me (as you have proven), I'm not hiding myself away, why would I? I'm proud of what I've achieved.

As for the lying accusation. Do you think I'd only *half* bare my soul? If you really knew me you'd know that I don't do things by half. This blog is an honest account of my life now and before, I don't lie on it, I don't have to and it would be counterproductive and render this whole exercise pointless.

However, I would like to add that if I *did* want to lie then I'm well within my rights to do so, it's MY blog, I can write whatever the hell I want to on here and nobody can tell me otherwise, you, or anyone else for that matter.

But as I said before, that would be a pointless exercise, this blog is for me, it actually means quite a lot to me, I write it for me, and I'm not about to start lying to me.

It's got nothing to do with anyone else, and that includes you.

Enjoy the sympathies of strangers Tara, and the pity of everyone else.
I don't think any of the lovely people who take the time to read and comment on this blog think of me with 'sympathy'. They may be sympathetic of my past, and what I've been through that's brought me to where I am now.

I've encountered, empathy, praise and genuine warmth, but not sympathy, it's not what I'm after, I don't need it, I lead a successful life and have a good job, friends, family and, more recently, an new medium through which to document all this.

I love my life, I give thanks every day that I am able to do as much as I do. I feel very privileged to have all the opportunities, and the friends and hobbies that I have.

I don't need sympathy and I certainly don't need pity.

So please tell me, what is there about my life for you, or anyone, to feel pity for?

Maybe you should take some time to explore the reasons and motivation for your continually hounding me, be it on facebook, email or now here. It seriously amounts to stalking and I really think you should move on with your own life and stop focusing on mine.

You can't bring me down, I've come too far for your words to do anything but bounce off me like water off a duck's back. We live in different worlds, move in different circles, you don't matter to me, but for some reason I obviously do to you or you wouldn't spend so much time and effort to let me know you're still around tracking my personal life.

If you are that interested in my life then you're welcome to read this. In fact, I can't stop you! I can't stop anyone reading this, but that's okay because I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, so please feel free to keep reading, I would just appreciate it if you could refrain from the acrimonious comments, other than being rather cowardly, it's also really unproductive, unhelpful unpleasant and unnecessary.

TJx

EDIT (25/10/2009):

I was contacted by my ex boyfriend's (now ex) other half who says she received an anonymous link to this blog, but that it wasn't her who left the comment, that she viewed my blog but didn't comment.

She is upset that I used the initial of her first name as she's concerned that it might be used to identify it should one of her friends 'stumble across this blog'. It's unlikely that anyone I know would read this unless they were made aware of its existence, it's pretty hard to find unless you know what you're looking for - i.e. something Maximuslce related or by using more specific words like the person who found this by typing "joe les gets blog" into google after looking through my albums entitled 'blog pics' and 'les gets' on Flickr. I'm annoyed at myself for not having the privacy settings higher but I didn't expect them to still be hounding me.

So I have removed her initial, as she feels it jeopardises her privacy. But reinforced to her that my suspicions that it was her who sought out my blog and then left the comment are fully understandable given the fact that she used deceitful means to gain access to my facebook profile and all the photos of my son which she then passed to my ex.

She has lied to me on many occasions in the past, but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she is not lying now. I really hope this is true, because it was a pretty horrible thing to do and I don't think deep down that she's that nasty a person.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Have you met my friend, Will?

Will Power that is...!

Sorry, that was about the lamest cheesiest thing I've ever written

ever!!

I did find that smug mode was initiated several times throughout the course of Wednesday though

here's why:

AM: arrive at venue for all day pension systems event (yes, I could hardly contain my excitement either!) - have coffee, no biscuits

Break: boss gets me coffee, pops a shortbread finger on my saucer... which I remove - boss then eats

Lunch: look forlornly at the mass of bread and deep fried offerings on the buffet table (ciabatta rolls, spring rolls, crispy duck, potato salad, filo pastry parcels etc - not a salad leaf in sight!) - opt for 1/4 of a seeded brown bread sandwich with egg and one with tuna, a little bit of duck and a teeny amount of potato salad - NO deep fried pastry rolls/parcels for me!

sit down, eat offering, then whip out the strawberry Maximilk (wasn't bothered about the looks I'd get, I was already out of place having turned up in jeans, a sweatshirt (albeit a nice smart one) and my goretex MBTs - nobody told me anything about business dress, we don't have that where we work!!) and poured it into a glass... whilst the remaining people on my table went and refilled their plates, at least once, often twice!

Post Lunch: very dismayed to see zero fruit - except those on the shortcrust pastry and custard cups. The puddings looked very nice indeed but I knew that I'd feel shit if I ate them as I didn't *need* to, and I had a Promax Crisp barfor afters in my bag as well as Promax Diet bar in case I got *really* hungry

I was prepared. If you fail to prepare, you should prepare to fail. I didn't fail, I didn't stuff my face with deep fried products or cave into the lovely pastries, and BOY did they look tasty. I had what I needed with me to ensure I wouldn't get hungry as that would diminish my willpower

Dinner: I did the classic 'food shopping when hungry', which is always bad as you end up buying the whole supermarket. However, I don't buy rubbish foodstuff (unless specifically requested by my boys) so I ended up getting a veritable nibble feast for us consisting of corn on the cob, mini pots of low fat homous to have with carrot batons, celery, cucumber etc... a pot of giant cous cous and chickpeas.

The boys had opted for pizza, and there was some macaroni cheese they wanted to share too... fine! I had 2 halves (one red, one yellow) of a pepper stuffed with cous cous, quinoa (cooked with a chicken stock cube for flavour), baked in the oven and sprinkled with 25g mature cheddar.

Plus of course we had the obligatory mixed leaf salad with cherry tomatoes... very lucky that both Joe and my son are as much salad freaks as I am!

So I felt very virtuous, and I didn't even have a nibble of pizza.

But I didn't feel like I was 'missing out', which is a new experience for me. You see, since I started to see real results to my body, it's given me the momentum to continue along the same route that I've been taking.

I think that's what I needed, to see evidence, physical evidence that my efforts were paying off. Now I can get into clothes that I haven't worn for over a year, I actually *like* my body now (and I'm not just saying it, I'm so chuffed with how I look right now :-) ) and every time I walk past a shop window or mirror etc and catch sight of my reflection I feel happy with what I see - I'm NOT uncomfortable in my own skin (as well as clothes!) as I was a few months ago.

It's such a lovely feeling, like a huge relief really. I know there are parts of me I'm still working on and want to change, but I also know that that's GOING to happen, not that it 'might'.

So I don't 'need' to snack on junk and fat just because it's there and everyone else is. That's not to say that I'll *never* eat another calorific dessert when I'm out for a nice dinner, but I don't feel like I'm missing out if I don't do it just because it's 'there' and everyone else is... in fact, quite the contrary, I feel like I'm gaining - gaining more of a sense of self-worth and every step is a positive move towards an even-more improved me :-)

TJx

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Reach for the stars...

...or at least that very last hold on the climbing wall... ;-)

The Castle, awesome huh?!

It was fantastic to get back to the Castle Climbing Centre, I haven't been brave enough to venture there for so many months because of being so self-conscious about my size.

Yesterday, however, I strode into the communal changing room without any fear of who would be staring and judging. You have to understand that, on the whole, climbers are a lithe, lean and fairly well muscled bunch of folk - I've felt anything *but* any of that in recent months until now!

My good mood was lifted further by the fact that I had to tighten the leg loops on my harness (I leave them locked as it's only the waist band I need to loosen to get it off/on me). This is my harness btw, it's a Black Diamond Primrose AL climbing harness and it's uber comfy. I've had it for years, should probably wash it at some point, it doesn't look as brightly coloured as the one in this pic!!

These are my rock shoes, they're Red Chili 'Spirit' laceups... I *had* wanted to get velcro ones but as I'm tall my feet are pretty big for a girl, and they didn't have women-specific shoes when I went to try them on - so the shoes fit lengthways but were *far* too wide for my feet!

However... I was browsing through a copy of 'Climb Magazine' and I saw a pair of Boreal Luna Rock Shoes advertised... ooh they're luuuurvly and will go with my purple harness! I'll have to go and try a pair on in a shop though as I seem to recall that I didn't quite like the fit of the Boreals that I tried on when I was shopping for my current shoes.

In any case, I'm not going to buy them now as a) I'm a bit broke after spending a fortune on clothes for the photo shoot and b) I'm going to use them as a weight-loss incentive... If/when I get below 10 stone I will get myself a pair - how's that for encouragement?!

So anyway, sorry I went a bit off track there... I got changed and joined Joe and our friend H in The Quarry. His other climbing buddies were away so it was just the three of us, which isn't the best dynamic when you're going climbing truth be told!!

Joe and I belayed for H whilst he tackled some difficult top-roped, and lead rope climbs... he's such a good climber, can grip onto the teeniest tiniest of holds that are barely proud from the wall! I think it helps that he's just so lean, no fat whatsoever anywhere on him and he's quite muscular too, but doesn't look it when he's just wearing normal clothes as he's so slim. He's the same height as Joe (6') but probably nearly 2 stone lighter! In fact I think he's lighter than I am *sulk*

He's also a bloody fast runner, one of the fastest in our club... e.g. sub 02:45 marathons, sub 34 minute 10km. His brother is a bit faster, which must be annoying but then H is into anything and everything - we was competing in an adventure race last weekend, which he and a fellow Serpie won, it involved mountain biking, running, orienteering etc, sounds like fun!!

The first couple of climbs of mine were rubbish!! Then I switched to even easier routes on the Rockley Wall and found them a bit more do-able!

I left Joe and H for a bit to have a go on the ground floor travel wall but that wasn't that much fun so I ended up going to the next floor to do some bouldering in the quarry.

That was a lot of fun, but the thing about using the bouldering walls is you're meant to start from a seated position and pull yourself up - I discovered I'm not that good at that!

Also when I was bridging across two holds on the back wall (see where woman is in green top in the pic in the link above) and I felt an almighty (and uncomfortable!) 'pull' in the back of my glutes and hamstrings which highlighted how inflexible my legs are... must. stretch. more!

After that I thought I'd use the travel walls, imaginatively named Lust and Envy!!. Although I didn't try this move performed by this nutty fella! - insane! great pic though :-)

My hands hurt after the bouldering. Although I do a lot of training with heavy weights, I always wear gloves, so my poor palms felt red raw!!

I then caught sight of Joe and H so we went up to the first floor level to where the *really* high walls are and finished off the night on one of the new Taller top roped routes, it's really scary once you get all the way to the top and turn round and look down!!

After our climbing exertions we decided the only sensible, and polite thing, to do would be to visit the local public house for a nice well-deserved pint and some yummy Thai food. The pub across the road to the Castle fulfills all this and more. It's very much an 'old man's pub' but it's still nice and the food is lovely and cheap (although not the largest of portions).

Ordinarily I would have sat and ummed and erred over the menu until I finally made the choice between the Pad Thai noodles with chicken, or the Massoman Curry. But yesterday I wanted neither!

I fancied something with a bit of a kick and the idea of a plate full of noodles really did nothing for me! It's funny how your tastes can change so dramatically in the space of a few months!

I opted for the red curry in the end which wasn't the healthiest of options as there was coconut juice aplenty in it. But I had definitely earnt it after my climb and besides I was famished having forgotten to take my Promax Crisp bar with me to munch en route to the climbing centre!

I had a pint and a half of Kronenburg (mandatory post-climbing drink... when I run I drink Guinness... maybe I'm just weird?!) and felt very tipsy, gosh I'm a cheap date!! :-D

I slept like a log, a very happy worn out log :-)

Today my hands still feel very sore and a bit stiff and I feel a bit achey in the triceps, other than that I'm not doing too badly really and I can't wait to get back there again - hopefully in 2 weeks time! I want to make this a regular thing and not let it slip again, it's such a great mind and full body workout :-)

Hope you're all well

TJx